Going, Going, Gone
Deconstructing the language that brokers use in their brochures and advertising can tell us a lot about the state of the market. We’ve noticed references lately to the “current house.” It seems to be code for saying that the subject property might be good enough for them but it is not good enough for you, and is destined for change. Houses, once thought of as permanent, are now seen as transitional as this year’s fashions.
Architecture: Straightforward and mannerly, the forms and lines of this house express restraint and calmness. This is country gentry for those who can recognize it.
Site: One acre in the Southampton estate area with an interestingly shaped pool, gazebo and mature trees.
The inside word: The broker calls the house “current” and talks about “making your own statement” with “a brand new home.” We’d be happy to move right in and not change a thing. The house has everything we want: master bedroom with fireplace, media room, library, sauna, steamroom, hot tub, and a studio above the garage. It’s gracious and tasteful, with not a trace of overdone fabulousness. Or is that the problem? Offered at $3.25 million.
Point of View
We used to think of Noyac as a place of windy bluffs, a long ribbon of bay beaches, beautiful views, wildlife preserves and affordable real estate. The natural beauty is still there but real estate bargains are more endangered than the ospreys circling the wetlands and less likely to ever make a comeback.
Architecture: Unassuming, unadorned, unpretentious, but by no means unattractive. Good, straightforward design from a time when life and architecture were simpler.
Site: Waterfront on Peconic Bay in Noyac with sunset views, basic landscaping and no pool.
The inside word: If you were to show your friends pictures of this house and say you spent $4.85 million, they’d question your sanity. But show them the waterfront and the views from the house, and they’ll think you’re a real estate whiz kid. It’s all in the location, and if as they say money can’t buy happiness, it can certainly buy panoramic scenery.
Hot Stuff
Kids collect tropical fish. Grown-up kids collect tropical real estate. It’s easy to keep an aquarium in your bedroom, but it’s not so easy to get to all those places with palm trees and bougainvillea. One practical if unconventional solution is to say to hell with context and build a tropical villa in the Hamptons.
Architecture: The broker calls it Tuscan. It’s not like anything we’ve ever seen in Tuscany, but it is a lot like houses we know and love in Santa Barbara, Boca Raton and Turtle Creek.
Site: Two acres on the bay in Remsenburg, but sitting at the pool or in the stone floored portico you’d swear you can hear palm fronds swaying in the wind.
The inside word: The idea might be quixotic, but the result is a lot of fun. Why put up with equatorial heat and sweltering days when you can have this unlikely bit of fantasy a couple of hours from Manhattan? It’s very luxurious and exotic. Now where is our Panama hat? Offered at $15 million.
Uncommon Ground
When houses are king sized anyone can be king, lineage notwithstanding. All it takes really is money and the stamina to get through a marathon party season. If people were judged by size of their homes, we’d have plenty of kings and queens, and not a few dukes, princes, counts and lords. And any commoners? Non-nobles, like a small house in a good neighborhood, would be harder and harder to come by and more and more sought after.
Architecture: Elevations are dissimilar, with varied forms and massing, giving it a bountiful, enthusiastic outlook. The sundry elements play off one another in a pleasing way, divergent and plentiful but certainly not random. The architect took some chances and the result is successful.
Site: Adjacent to the Atlantic Golf Club in Bridgehampton, on 4.6 acres.
The inside word: Since the property comprises two separate lots you get a main house and a guest cottage as well as pool and tennis. What is really special to us is the sense of estate living. Like the grand estates of another era, you stroll across the lawn to the pool and tennis court. It’s not too far, but when you get there you find an enchanting little house, just right for some afternoon dalliance.